Sunday, November 12, 2006
Shared Parenting ~ Some reasonable Advice to Consider
Don't they deserve ALL of the best we have to offer? Are we really so selfish that we can overlook the needs and feelings of our children to satisfy our own? As parents, don't we want to establish ourselves as role models who will have the most positive influence on the lives of our children?
I ran across a interesting site that provides a lot of information about
Shared Parenting (link). There is a lot of valuable information that I hope will help all who are faced with these issues. Children deserve the very best we have to offer. Our failures to do the right thing, put ourselves in their place, feel great compassion for their needs, is inexcusable when we have the ability and resources to do better. All you need to do is listen to your child, look into their eyes and do the right thing.
Joint Custody and Shared ParentingWhat the Research Says, What Parents SayChildren have a natural right to both parents, but they need your help. The resources on these pages can help you fight for your child's right to both parents. To see the importance of shared parenting, consider how you, as an adult, would feel if you could see your children only four days a month. Like most parents, you would miss them terribly, even with your adult level of emotional maturity. Children, with their fragile, still-developing emotions, often suffer much more. Children naturally love and need both parents. Sadly, most children of divorce see their non-custodial parent only four days a month, which is not enough whether that parent is a mother or father. Children need both their mothers and their fathers. Children do best with both parents together. If your spouse wants a divorce, do everything you can to keep your family together. But if you cannot stop the divorce, don't let your children grow up in sole custody.
Dangers of sole custody.Not surprisingly, sole custody can result in serious problems for children. Children raised in single parent families are at greater risk for juvenile delinquency, teen pregnancy, poor grades, drugs, dropping out of school, and other trouble. These risks occur even after factoring in differences in income. In fact, risks are even higher in stepfamilies, despite their significantly higher income and best efforts. Research shows that the lack of involvement by both natural parents is a primary cause of these risks. Here's what the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services has to say:
"More than a quarter of American children—nearly 17 million—do not live with their father. Girls without a father in their life are two and a half times as likely to get pregnant and 53 percent more likely to commit suicide. Boys without a father in their life are 63 percent more likely to run away and 37 percent more likely to abuse drugs. Both girls and boys are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to end up in jail and nearly four times as likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems." -- HHS Press Release, Friday, March 26, 1999.
Think TwiceIf your lawyer suggests that you can win sole custody, think twice. Is it really worth the risk to your child? Teen pregnancy, problems in school, drug addiction, and delinquency are problems that can affect your child for life.
If your lawyer says that you have little chance of winning shared custody, think twice before settling for less than joint physical custody. You may save money in legal costs, but the damage to your child from sole custody could be lifelong.
The phrase "two heads are better than one" is old fashioned wisdom, but it reflects the thought behind CRC's slogan that the best parent is both parents.
The concept of shared parenting, or joint custody, was developed about 1970 to help provide for the active participation of both parents in raising their children. The first joint custody statute was passed in Indiana in 1973, and joint custody laws progressed rapidly after adoption by the natino's largest state, California, in 1980. Since then shared parenting has spread to all 50 states.
Posted by Miss Loveliness ::
4:36 AM ::
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Teach Me to Pray
Everyone needs someone to talk to who loves them unconditionally, someone to lean on who is always strong, someone to reach for who is always there, someone to believe in when everything else seems unbelievably difficult, someone to look up to for hope and confidence, someone who is steadfast and never too busy to hear our prayers. Mom. Teach me to pray.
Give me faith and confidence, belief that there is something greater than me... a reason to believe... a guiding light that will brighten my future. Tell me about the angel that sits on my shoulder and watches over me when the lights go out at night or I feel all alone. And mom, teach me to pray.
Help me build my conscience with the knowledge that there is someone who knows all, sees all, cares for all... someone who I can talk to and communicate with any time, any where. Someone who hears my most silent whisper or the thoughts in my head. Someone way out beyond forever who embraces me and all little children, someone who can make miracles happen. Someone who shines his light down upon us and brings us peace. Mom, teach me to pray.
And as I grow up and face new challenges, so many all on my own, give me the tools I need to search my heart and walk with a sure foot toward each new challenge I face. As I sit in school and take a difficult test, or run out across a field to catch a high ball, give me the ability to cast my eyes toward the heavens for that quick discussion with a higher power who will help me do my best. Yes, I know. I will meet with failures and each new failure will prepare me to do better the next time, but looking into the heavens gives me a special comfort and knowledge that even if I do fail this time, I am not alone. Mom, please teach me to pray.
You are my warmth, my foundation, my strength. Through all I see in you I learn how to be me. I am very lucky, I know, to have someone who takes the time to show me things and give me the confidence to believe in myself. But for the times when I must do things on my own, mom, please. Teach me to pray.
Posted by Miss Loveliness ::
3:41 PM ::
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Don't they deserve ALL of the best we have to offer? Are we really so selfish that we can overlook the needs and feelings of our children to satisfy our own? As parents, don't we want to establish ourselves as role models who will have the most positive influence on the lives of our children?
Everyone needs someone to talk to who loves them unconditionally, someone to lean on who is always strong, someone to reach for who is always there, someone to believe in when everything else seems unbelievably difficult, someone to look up to for hope and confidence, someone who is steadfast and never too busy to hear our prayers. Mom. Teach me to pray.
Give me faith and confidence, belief that there is something greater than me... a reason to believe... a guiding light that will brighten my future. Tell me about the angel that sits on my shoulder and watches over me when the lights go out at night or I feel all alone. And mom, teach me to pray.
And as I grow up and face new challenges, so many all on my own, give me the tools I need to search my heart and walk with a sure foot toward each new challenge I face. As I sit in school and take a difficult test, or run out across a field to catch a high ball, give me the ability to cast my eyes toward the heavens for that quick discussion with a higher power who will help me do my best. Yes, I know. I will meet with failures and each new failure will prepare me to do better the next time, but looking into the heavens gives me a special comfort and knowledge that even if I do fail this time, I am not alone. Mom, please teach me to pray.
You are my warmth, my foundation, my strength. Through all I see in you I learn how to be me. I am very lucky, I know, to have someone who takes the time to show me things and give me the confidence to believe in myself. But for the times when I must do things on my own, mom, please. Teach me to pray.