Sunday, November 12, 2006

Shared Parenting ~ Some reasonable Advice to Consider

Don't they deserve ALL of the best we have to offer? Are we really so selfish that we can overlook the needs and feelings of our children to satisfy our own? As parents, don't we want to establish ourselves as role models who will have the most positive influence on the lives of our children?

I ran across a interesting site that provides a lot of information about Shared Parenting (link). There is a lot of valuable information that I hope will help all who are faced with these issues. Children deserve the very best we have to offer. Our failures to do the right thing, put ourselves in their place, feel great compassion for their needs, is inexcusable when we have the ability and resources to do better. All you need to do is listen to your child, look into their eyes and do the right thing.


Joint Custody and Shared Parenting

What the Research Says, What Parents Say

Children have a natural right to both parents, but they need your help. The resources on these pages can help you fight for your child's right to both parents. To see the importance of shared parenting, consider how you, as an adult, would feel if you could see your children only four days a month. Like most parents, you would miss them terribly, even with your adult level of emotional maturity. Children, with their fragile, still-developing emotions, often suffer much more. Children naturally love and need both parents. Sadly, most children of divorce see their non-custodial parent only four days a month, which is not enough whether that parent is a mother or father. Children need both their mothers and their fathers. Children do best with both parents together. If your spouse wants a divorce, do everything you can to keep your family together. But if you cannot stop the divorce, don't let your children grow up in sole custody.

Dangers of sole custody.

Not surprisingly, sole custody can result in serious problems for children. Children raised in single parent families are at greater risk for juvenile delinquency, teen pregnancy, poor grades, drugs, dropping out of school, and other trouble. These risks occur even after factoring in differences in income. In fact, risks are even higher in stepfamilies, despite their significantly higher income and best efforts. Research shows that the lack of involvement by both natural parents is a primary cause of these risks. Here's what the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services has to say:

"More than a quarter of American children—nearly 17 million—do not live with their father. Girls without a father in their life are two and a half times as likely to get pregnant and 53 percent more likely to commit suicide. Boys without a father in their life are 63 percent more likely to run away and 37 percent more likely to abuse drugs. Both girls and boys are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to end up in jail and nearly four times as likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems." -- HHS Press Release, Friday, March 26, 1999.



Think Twice

If your lawyer suggests that you can win sole custody, think twice. Is it really worth the risk to your child? Teen pregnancy, problems in school, drug addiction, and delinquency are problems that can affect your child for life.


If your lawyer says that you have little chance of winning shared custody, think twice before settling for less than joint physical custody. You may save money in legal costs, but the damage to your child from sole custody could be lifelong.
The phrase "two heads are better than one" is old fashioned wisdom, but it reflects the thought behind CRC's slogan that the best parent is both parents.

The concept of shared parenting, or joint custody, was developed about 1970 to help provide for the active participation of both parents in raising their children. The first joint custody statute was passed in Indiana in 1973, and joint custody laws progressed rapidly after adoption by the natino's largest state, California, in 1980. Since then shared parenting has spread to all 50 states.
Posted by Miss Loveliness :: 4:36 AM :: | ---------------oOo---------------